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My dreams are coming true. Well, not 100% true but getting closer to becoming reality. I simply cannot believe how lucky I am. The feeling of guilt actually comes in to it - even though there is no reason why I should. Before I start this eruption of elation, I warn you, dear reader, that I may come across extremely melodramatic and pathetic. If you are in need of real life evidence of a possible fairytale, please read on. If not, click "next blog".

I am aware that not many first time couples work out but as I said, I am hoping that we are one of the "not many". Recently, I have thought of us married in years to come and have experienced dreams of us living together and having children - the usual fantasies of a starry eyed young women, right? However, I was afraid to mention my dreams and fantasies since this is the only romantic relationship he has had. I held back because I did not want to scare him off and so I kept my big mouth shut.

For my birthday, which was about two weeks ago, he gave me a necklace with two swans - he said that one being me and the other, him. He also handmade a card for me and wrote a beautiful, allegorical message inside. I was tearing up at how lucky I was, just not as much as Valentine's Day... I actually did cry then. Before I met him, I had never cried of happiness. I used to be skeptical at the thought of crying when you are happy. I would say, "Why is he/she crying? They are meant to be happy?!"
That has changed drastically.

Swans are known to have a "mate for life". I did not know this until I showed my parents and they exchanged looks of raised eyebrows with a impressive, antiphonal mix of "ooh"s and "wow"s and "aww"s. I question them for being so interested in it and so they told me. I was not going to presume that he knew that and that he meant it in that sense. The reason he had got me the swans was because he found us a "place" that was just for us. It is very romantic - it is a fallen tree trunk that we sit on with a branch arching gracefully over us; sheltering and hiding us. It looks out on to a river which flows peacefully through the town where he lives. This place has swans inhabiting it and they are always there when we are and from then swans have always been very symbolic to us.

Yesterday, we got in to a serious conversation about what may happen over the course of the next few years. We both want to go to the same university but since we cannot guarantee that we will, we talked about the consequences. This was my fear. I thought that if we get forced apart due to different universities, we might have to end the relationship if we are too far apart. Plus, the experience of being a single student is important. I suppose that's where you find out who you are as an individual and what you want in life as your own person. But hey, what do I know? Neither of us wants to be without each other. I cannot imagine myself without him, it's as plain and simple as that.

However, after he listed all the things that we should consider doing and to be sensible and realistic about the whole thing, he said, "that's not necessarily what I want." I ask what he does want and replies with,

 "If I had it my way we would be living together within 2 years. Thing is, you are the exact sort of person who I would want to marry. If I had the ability to plan the rest of my life right now and it exactly according to plan, then in 60 years, me and you are living in a sunny cottage by the sea."

That is what I am so elated about.

He wants the same thing as I do. It's almost to good to be true. Ha! How can I describe something like this as, "good"? It's nothing short of incredible. I could hardly cope with my emotions - after all I am young to be considering something like that. However, it has made me realise that we are both as serious about each other as the other.

My life has been idyllic ever since I met him and I just have that feeling that because it has been so beautiful, it may end as if I've had my fair share of happiness or if it does all go to plan then there may be tragedy involved in our lives together. Anyway, there is no point worrying about that. No one knows and only time will tell.


What I hope now is that we get in to the same university. I thank him eternally for everything he is and that I am blessed that I have the chance to have him in my life.