A Time of Change

There has been lots of change since I last wrote on this blog. I feel like I have changed in way that I am starting to realise who I am. I am starting to realise what type of person that I am becoming. At this precise moment I feel like I'm in a state of limbo. Almost (and I want to put this across in the least big-headed way as possible) like a metamorphosis. My boyfriend's mum is a Councillor and she said to me that I am realising my own strength and power. Since she told me this, I am starting to recognise where she is coming from. I feel confident in what I want and what I am doing with my life.

On Tuesday, I went for a job interview at 12 noon and then at 2pm the same day I was offered the job. I still cannot believe it. It is still a bit surreal to me at the moment. I start on Monday and I am so excited. My job consists of working in a special needs primary school over the summer. As you can imagine. I am thrilled and entirely in love with the job since I am doing a Primary Education degree. What an amazing experience to have! This will improve my skills so much and contribute to my professional development as a teacher. I feel relieved that I have this job because I get special training so I will then be able to teach children with special needs more effectively. I am thrilled and absolutely over the moon. One thing I am proud of is that I have never been unsuccessful in an interview. I have only really had 4 big interviews but I was still successful in all of them. Let's hope that continues *touches wooden desk*.

I recently finished a very difficult nursery placement which took everything out of me - emotionally, mentally and physically. I was so adversely affected by the staff that were working there it made me doubt my ability to be a teacher. After the first week, I asked myself, "why on Earth did I think I could do this?" My confidence had got so low that I was actually doubting that I could achieve my dream. I was constantly stressed, didn't eat regular, good meals, didn't exercise and was always tired. This was because of the sheer amount of work that my "mentor" teacher had demanded that I would do on top of the work I had to do for University as well as the fear and pressure that she made me feel. It was a very difficult 4 weeks. I am so glad that I managed to finish it and that I survived the experience of having to deal with a very challenging relationship in a professional setting.

I have also finished my first year of University. As far as I know, I have passed everything well. I have good relationships with my fellow students and tutors. Now it is the summer and I don't start my 2nd year of University until September. In the meantime, I am going to be working, studying and going on holiday! This summer will be great! However, now that it is holiday time I feel that the silent battle between my boyfriend's parents and I is commencing. Whenever it is holiday time, J needs a reason to be living with me (for example,  he would have to have a job near the flat). If there is no reason, then he has to go home. I was really peeved about this because shouldn't I be enough of a reason? It's not like we've not been together for very long. We've been together for nearly 3 years (which is quite a short amount of time in the grand scheme of things but it's significant enough especially since we have a home together). Don't get me wrong, I understand their point of view entirely but I think that they are being rather cold-hearted about it. I won't say much more because I would end up boring you but if you have any advice, please comment on this post.

However, all in all, things are happy at the moment. Of course, I simply have to say that J and I are more in love with each other than ever before.